Thumper

When you were kicking away in your mummy's tummy (or rather, her womb, for she had not eaten you), we used to call you Thumper.

We realised you would be born as a Metal Rabbit on the Chinese Zodiac, so the name stuck. It took us weeks after you were born to stop calling you Thumper.

(Technically, your full name as designated by your uncle Andrew, was Thumper Babyfish Wigglebottom Fish.)